God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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