I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
