I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
