so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
