Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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