i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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