i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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