I think i peed on brittanys purse
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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