Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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