you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
