lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We need a shit load of segways right now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
