ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
