i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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