so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
