dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
