Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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