so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
