I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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