what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
