He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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