I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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