I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
