I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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