Small penises have feelings too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
