See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
