you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
