so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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