cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
only if we run a train.
done.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
