She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize