hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
