one two three fourrrrnication!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
