Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
