belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
