the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Shame - the story of my life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
