i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
