I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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