Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
