yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
