Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
