i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
