saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
