I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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