she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
