what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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