i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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