Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize