JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
