Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
