Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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