Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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