The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
