if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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