i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The air was thick with penises
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
