Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
