did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize