just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
