Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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