So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
