I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
