well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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