I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
