i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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