I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
